Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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