i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
