Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
