i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize