Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize