I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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