whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
