its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize