She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
