hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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