So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
