Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
