he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
