we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
