I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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