just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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