I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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