Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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