i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
