So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
