You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it because I queefed?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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