she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
