I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
