Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
