Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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