ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
