shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
