i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We have started to decorate penises.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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