I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
