There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
