I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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