:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
