Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize