you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
