I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
