i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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