So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
