just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
