my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
