Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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