I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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