I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
PANTIES FOUND
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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