just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
