Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
