Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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