He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
