He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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