just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
