I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i out mim tonsoeep
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