the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
