mondays should just be called national damage control day
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
