I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
