butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
