You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize