I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
