Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
