i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
