it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
