just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
