is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize