i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So much rum. So many feels.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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