at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
