So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
