I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
