batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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