How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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