if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
