No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
