forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
